Malaysia & Singapore, 18th-30th September 2017

I haven't been to Asia since 2004. Malaysia had been recommended to me, therefore I decided to try it out this year. I love long haul flights, as it means I can spend hours upon hours watching films: I think I got through about six on the way to Kuala Lumpur (Mindhorn was especially good). Malaysia would be a good option if you hadn't been to Asia before and wanted to dip your toe in the waters. That's because you could describe it as 'soft Asia', in terms of the culture shock. The cities are modern, the transport is very comfortable and most people speak English. On top of all that, it's one of the few places (a shrinking number, thanks to the economic disaster that is Brexit) where the pound still goes a long way.

KUALA LUMPUR

Once you arrive at the airport and have been through customs etc, head to the KLIA Express down the stairs, jumping on the one to KL Central. That was booked in advance, giving me a 10% discount on the usual 55RM price. 28 minutes later you get to KL Central, where there are several types of train to choose from. For LRT tickets (e.g, my train was Line 5 on that), there is a machine. For KTM trains (like Line 1 and 2), it's a different machine, which all seemed to be broken so I went to the counter instead. Also note there is a women-only carriage, 3 and 4 on the KTM to Batu Caves.

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I first got an LRT train to Masjid Jamek, about 1.60RM from the ticket office (as I didn't have small enough change for the machines). You receive a round blue token which is touched on the turnstile to enter, then inserted into the slot as you leave. Be aware that you can't easily change on some routes. For example, later I wanted to go to Imbi, so went to Central after buying a ticket at Pasar Seni. It looked as though I could then get the Monorail (Rapid KL) all the way. However, the ticket didn't allow that, so I ended up going back to Masjid Jamek, then Huang Tuah and from there to Imbi.

I arrived too late into KL to do all that much on my first day, although I was able to wander round the Central Market a short walk from my hotel. Be careful when crossing the road: the traffic lights will give you a red man signal, but at many crossings it never turns into a walking green figure, assuming you even have the luxury of a signalled crossing. Also near the hotel is a great view of the Masjid Jamek mosque across a river junction. For some unknown reason, at night there is a fountain dance with loud pop music, finishing with a full-on dry ice fog, straight from an '80s power ballad video.

The next day I headed to the gardens, which have a high canopy walkway past lots of flora. There is an app you can down load discussing the flora, if you also have enough data to scan the QR codes. You will eventually reach the KL Tower , via a large chocolate shop. The top apparently has an incredible view, but I wasn't tempted enough to spend £10 on it. Several other shops and attractions are dotted around the base of the KL Tower, such as the depressing KL Tower Mini Zoo.

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Walking past that, you can see a number of bedraggled guinea pigs, surrounded by endless hordes of school children. There are signs up everywhere urging you to love wildlife and prevent animal abuse, but I suspect the zoo could start that process close to home. One of the signs, featuring a quote from philosopher Julian Baggini, was presumably picked by someone who has a poor grasp of English. If not, then it becomes an extremely disturbing choice to display in a zoo.

On a much more positive note, I was a big fan of the food and drink on offer in Malaysia. Heading to Little India, there was a great smoothie shop where a guy crams in loads of pure fruit and veg (he added nothing else, so no water and no sugar) for the equivalent of a £1. Bargain, very tasty too.

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My highlight in Kuala Lumpur was the swishly modern Islamic Arts Museum . The architecture, like so much of KL, is striking. Exhibits inside included a detailed discussion of bookbinding, various arms and armour from the Islamic world, paintings, furniture, ceramics and even an entire room decked out like an Ottoman dwelling. As ever, I especially enjoyed the numerous Turkish elements, such as the display of Iznik tiles, Turkish swords and miniatures. It's 15RM to get in, no audio guide, but decent amounts of information throughout. The museum shop is extensive, with plenty of books in English (generally of the large hardback variety, so you'll need a good bit of space in your luggage to take those home).

The day finished off at the Jalan Alor night market a short walk from Imbi station. A long section of street is lined by mainly food stalls. I munched my way through some delicious dim sum, very affordable. For dessert, I tried fried ice cream, which sounds like an oxymoron. They are essentially pancakes made of ice cream. I watched him do it on a hot plate in front of me, but I still don't fully understand how they work. Either way, delicious. :)

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Another top destination followed on Wednesday. Batu Caves is at one end of the KTM line from KL Central, making it a straightforward journey of 30 mins (2.60RM). It is very touristy, but gorgeous and full of macaques. They're chilled out, but nick anything they think is food if you're not holding it tightly. The limestone caves were initially encountered (after the indigenous Malaysians, who had obviously been well aware of Batu for far longer) by Selangor's police superintendent Captain Harry C Syers in 1878, at the head of a hunting party. Next was American zoologist in 1879. The most important visit came ten years later, on Henry Nicholas Ridley's 1889 scientific expedition. That kicked off 30 years of work.

Shortly after Ridley's research began, K Thamboosamy Pillay established a temple in Batu Caves, dedicated to the Hindu fertility and war god Lord Murugan. Ever since it was founded in 1891, the Thaipusum festival has been celebrated there annually, attracting upwards of a million devotees each time. The caves became an official tourist site in 1970, but it took until 1981 to finally stop the damaging quarrying that had been going on for decades. Disembarking at the Batu Caves station, stepping outside you are soon surrounded by macaques. Appropriately, there is a large statue of Hanuman watching over them.

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The main cave (there are around twenty over the site, but Dark Cave and Temple Cave are the two everyone goes to: I'm not sure how accessible they are) awaits at the end of an extensive staircase (around 300 steps, IIRC). There is constant construction work going on, so an opportunistic gentleman employed there has been getting tourists to assist him. He shoves a bucket of sand at you, solemnly saying 'help, help.' I get the impression visitors think it is part of the devotion, but I suspect he's just (quite sensibly) seizing on the chance to make his job easier. ;)

Be sure to have something to cover your shoulders and if you're a woman, they will ask you to wear something that goes below your knees. Quite what is so objectionable about female knees I don't know, but then I'm not religious. It costs nothing to enter the Temple Cave, but you have to pay if you need to rent 'decent' clothing or you want to walk into the small temple itself (just a donation, IIRC). Inside the cave, you're treated to a spectacular space of immense proportions, dwarfing a typical cathedral. Up some further steps is an even more stunning cave, with sunlight raining down from a large hole at the top, resulting in foliage spilling down as well.

Thean Hou Temple is not in the Rough Guide but free and chilled out. It is a reasonable walk from the station, but worth it. There are numerous embodiments of cool Chinese mythology, such as the mother goddess Mazu who presides over the temple complex. Thean Hou is packed with buildings, every surface intricately carved and embellished. Round the back are some gardens, featuring various statues representing mythic figures. In the front garden, sculptures with accompanying descriptions explore the 12 animals of the Chinese zodiac.

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An inner shrine houses three large statues, with joss sticks and a sort of Chinese horoscope determined by dropping a clump of numbered sticks. Having made your donation, pull out the drawer with a corresponding number to retrieve your fortune. Peace and calm for me, allegedly, which sounds pretty good. My time in KL finished the next day with a quick walk around the main square, which can boast several attractive Victorian buildings. There is an incongruous space in the middle that looks rather like a cricket ground complete with mock-Tudor pavilion.

MELAKA

I headed to Bandar Tasik Selatan station (on the line towards Putra Heights) to catch a bus. The bus station is enormous. For the bus to Melaka, I got a 14RM ticket for the 11:30. That departed from Gate 12 downstairs, which is pretty much opposite Gate 1 (they go in a circle from 1 to 12). Massive seats, plenty of leg room and air conditioning, but no toilet. Arriving at Melaka Sentral, I then got on the number 17 domestic Panorama bus into town. Melaka runs at a slower pace than KL, though it begins to bustle from Friday into the weekend.

It is heavily geared towards tourists, from the spectacularly garish rickshaws festooned with plush toys to the distinctly Western establishment of Sid's Pub. Like KL, you can also head to very modern shopping centres, just as swish as anything you'd find in the UK. Having said that, Western tourists are vastly outnumbered by groups from China. That means lots of Chinese food and Chinese shops, building on the existing significant Chinese population already living in the city. I was therefore able to further indulge my newfound love of steamed buns, along with various other tasty Chinese chow.

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Culturally speaking, Melaka has several museums and sites of interest, not to mention it's a UNESCO site (of which it is immensely proud, given the multitude of signs proclaiming 'World Heritage City'). The red painted square of buildings dating back to the Dutch period of control is the busiest, then there are the dilapidated ruins of St Paul's Church up on a hill. If you're used to churches in Europe, this is nothing special, but it is apparently the oldest Western church in south east Asia (16th century, IIRC). More interesting are the gravestones inside, mostly 17th century Dutch, if you can squeeze past all the people taking selfies in front of them.

Down the hill is a Portuguese gate from 1511, a remnant from the fortress built by the Portuguese during their own period of dominance. If you head across from there, the attractive gardens surrounding a Malaysian building beckon you in for 5RM. This is the 1985 reconstruction of a palace originally built in the 15th century for the Sultan of Melaka, a major city in those days which was central to Malaysian history. Inside are some displays of native dress, a few cool weapons and dioramas showing scenes from Malaysian history. For example, the ubiquitous Hang Tuah. He famously killed his friend out of loyalty to the Sultan, despite said friend having gone on a rampage specifically because the Sultan ordered Hang Tuah's execution.

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There are regular river cruises departing from 9am to 10pm (with a gap for lunch), for 21.20RM on a Friday, slightly cheaper earlier in the week. They go every 20 minutes and last 40 minutes. On the way back, a pre-recorded audio starts up, in Malay and English. My favourite part were the many murals: I'd recommend taking a riverside walk afterwards, there are plenty of cafes to stop and have a drink too.

Next stop was Mersing, in order to catch the ferry to Tioman. I grabbed a 12:45 bus to Mersing from the Melaka Sentral bus station, taking roughly 4 hours. Once again, loads of leg room and air conditioning, but no toilets. Tioman Island ferry was painfully early, but comparatively comfortable, around 2 hours. Tioman itself is beautiful, loads of wildlife. We stayed at Minang Cove, where you could slot in all sorts of wildlife action while eating breakfast: macaques, black squirrels, monitor lizards, hermit crabs and the like. With a snorkel, many more fish and coral to see, especially around the pier. Even giant clown fish, sting rays and small sharks, if you're lucky. Biggish thing I saw was a chilled out grouper who hung out in the same spot under the pier all day.

SINGAPORE

I had somewhat rashly decided it would be a good idea to hop on a flight to Australia at the end of my trip, as Malaysia is a lot nearer than the UK. In order to make sure I got to Singapore early enough to make that flight, I ended up waking at 04:30 in Genting on Tioman Island to catch the ferry. By 06:30 I was cutting through the waves to Mersing, arriving around 08:20. A bus to Johor then beckoned, leaving at 09:30. There are plenty of buses onwards to Singapore from there, for an extremely reasonable 50p. It isn't all that far, but the 170 bus has to pass through several checkpoints, delaying matters considerably. After boarding a 170 at around 12:00, I didn't step off in Singapore until 14:00. That's because there was a passport control on the Malaysian side, then another once Singapore spread its arms.

You need small notes for trains, same as in Malaysia: the ticketing system is the same, plus the trains looked fairly similar too. Singapore is a gorgeously modern city, reminding me of Hong Kong with all the grimy bits stripped out (or well hidden). The beauty is rather sterile, like something out of a cyberpunk film. That dystopian sci fi feel is further enhanced by the many rules written everywhere. No eating or drinking is allowed on the Metro, heavily armed police in the bus station, stern warnings about chewing gum and detailed videos titled 'what to do in an attack' playing on a loop inside trains. Hello 1984/Blade Runner/Terry Gilliam's Brazil, etc.

Still, the Gardens by the Bay are stunning, especially the spectacular light show in the evening. Also, random giant floating baby sculptures, somehow balanced on one arm despite weighing several tonnes. You could argue it is all a little tacky, in that overblown way that sometimes happens in Asian countries (super bright colours, poppy music, lots of neon etc). As I'm a huge fan of the garishly kitschy, worked for me.

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Changi Airport is sometimes rated the best airport in the world and I can see why. Free and widespread WiFi, easy to reach by train (not too far from the centre and cheap at 2.40 SG$), loads of places to eat, chairs everywhere, great service and you can even wander through several different outdoor gardens at each terminal (e.g., the cactus garden, the sunflower garden etc) . That was to be my gateway to Australia: when I next find myself on a long journey in that part of the world (e.g., maybe to Japan, still the top of my wishlist after all these years), I may well stop off in either Malaysia or Singapore. Well worth a visit. :)

RTW 04: Laos

LAOS

Kayaks Down the Nam Khom - 22/05/04 (Luang Prabang)

My friend booked us onto a kayaking trip for $17 each – I was too ill at the time to provide any help. After initially worrying I was going to be horribly sick all over our fellow tourists – two rather quiets Finns who worked at the United Nations in Vientiane – my stomach cleared up, and we managed to get into the kayak, which was good.

Arriving at the small Tiger Trails way station, we were presented with a two person canoe, which didn’t appeal to either of us. Didn't bother the Finns, as they had apparently requested one. We instead received rather bizarre inflatable kayaks, which we certainly didn’t expect: a Gumofex 'Traveller', apparently. Then again, the guide had something similar – a 'Safari' open top model – so that placated me slightly.

The kayaking itself was quite fun, though I did successfully go lobster-red, especially on my exposed inner thighs (I was wearing shorts). My friend and I perfected the art of horizontal kayaking, though I refrained from putting my feet up like she did (tempted, though...)

The trip was relatively smooth going, except the two occasions we both managed to get stuck on rocks, whereupon I thought I’d managed to rip out the bottom of my kayak. Amusingly enough, my friend’s kayak was filled with water as a result, which was swiftly dyed completely black by her low-quality unwashed trousers. Good old Delhi roadside clothing stalls.

We spent roughly four hours on the water, although the Finns rushed ahead for no good reason, resulting in the guide disappearing completely towards the end. This lack of guidance resulted in my 'rip' up the wrong channel of the final rapids. We accidentally met him again later, while my friend was looking for a skirt.

Guy at stall: "Tired?"
My friend: "Yes, I’ve been canoeing all day"
Guy at stall: "I know – I was the guide!"

Neither of us recognised him without his hat. Ahem. Turned out well though, as I bought one of his shirts. I got it for 18,000 kip at a 'kayak discount', my first ever successful haggle, made even more gratifying by the next tourist buying one for 25,000 kip.

< Thailand - Australia >

RTW 04: Thailand

Temples and Palaces - 17/05/04 (Bangkok)

This was technically our second arrival in Thailand, as we’d already passed through the airport on our flight to Cambodia – previously, we were going to try and get to Cambodia overland using the arduously printed out instructions from a website accessed in Kathmandu, but overcome by laziness and a desire for more time and less hassle, we made the decision to book return flights to both Cambodia and Laos instead.

As interested as I was in Bangkok (well, mainly the muay thai), we were only planning on exploring Bangkok over one day, and that one day purely because we couldn't directly connect up flights back from Cambodia with flights out to Laos. On what proved to be our first day, we manged to pack in the two main sights, the Grand Palace and the Wat Pho temple complex, plus a bit of shopping/drinking down the famous tourist mecca, Khaosan Road.

The Palace was a gaudy fairground of monolithic buildings crammed together, spread across terraces and the careful topiary of tree filled parks. It appeared that in Thai architecture, there was no such thing as excessive decoration – all available surfaces were festooned with tiles, carvings, frontons and the like in a dazzling display of borderline kitsch. At the tacky pinnacle was the gold reliquary, which looked rather like it was made of plastic spray-painted gold. However, this perceived tastelessness on my part may have been because I'd just been spoiled by Angkor Wat – of course, the Palace had a scale model in wood. Very strange when you’d spent the previous day wandering around the original!

This continued into the next complex, Wat Pho. The ridiculously large – 46m long – 'Reclining Buddha' vied with a forest of wedding cake spires for the most astonishing view. The Buddha of Wat Pho attempted to do with sheer size what the Palace’s Emerald Buddha did with detail. Having said that, there was plenty of intricate work on the mother-of-pearl inlaid foot-soles. It was a difficult task to fit the whole thing into one photo: there has been a lot of awesome stuff on this trip that a camera really can't do justice.

We finished on Khao San Road, where I picked up two Bruce Lee print T-shirts – Kathmandu condensed on one road! I also found myself peeling off beer labels to stick in my growing collection of two-dimensional souvenirs I’d been storing in the plastic pouch of my Ong Bak DVD (bought in the construction site that was Suzhou at the time). The Bruce Lee shirt has since wowed many in various bars across the breadth of England; the response is usually along the lines "holy crap! That’s horrible", but hey…:p

My Quest for Muay Thai - 18/05/04 (Bangkok)

We were supposed to fly on to Luang Prabang today, but the gods of muay thai apparently decided to step in. The next morning my poor friend was vomiting profusely. I moved the flights back one day, meaning I now had the opportunity to check out the martial arts side of Thailand. I began the day by investigating various muay thai tour prices, which proved a bit expensive. They ranged from 100 baht to 1400 baht, without even including all transport.

I made the surprisingly long pilgrimage to Ratchadamnoen Stadium, where unfortunately there were no matches that day. Once I finally got back, I decided I would try to attend a muay thai class at Jitti’s Gym.

The only school I found (which may or may not have been Jitti's Gym, I couldn't tell) proved less than friendly. While there was a large sign proclaiming ‘Foreigners Welcome!’ the group of tough-looking Thais across the room, making dismissive hand gestures, most definitely indicated ‘Foreigners Fuck Off!’ It seemed today was not to be a training day.

However, I did finally satiate my muay thai cravings (as a spectator, rather than a participant) at Sanam Muay Lumphini, unfortunately much further than Ratchadamnoen. I got on the B4 no.47 bus from Thanon Ratchadamnoen Klang, a short walk from the Sawadee Khaosan Inn where we stayed. The way to the stadium proved relatively simple, though I spent the journey desperately clutching my little Lonely Planet city-map trying to recognise the streets I was passing. Considering all signs were in Thai, that wasn’t easy!

After arriving, I bought myself a second class ticket from the ‘foreigner’ booth for 800 baht, considerably cheaper than ringside or tour seats (thought that saving was ruined when I lost my damn passenger service thing at the airport! Grr). Inside my class, there was an open area with a fence separating the numbered seats at ringside and some low wooden benches behind me. I got in at 6pm, and opted to watch the matches standing, for a better view. It soon became clear that the only people who bought ringside seats were tourists, either young westerners on a tour, fat westerners with a prostitute, or Japanese. The ceiling was dotted with air-con fans, and a large fan stood upright in the standing zones.

The two build-up fights were relatively uninteresting, indicated by the large amount of empty seats and complete lack of announcements. Interestingly, high kicks were put to frequent use, before the match descended into extended exchanges of knees from the clinch, usually occurring from the end of the second round on.

The entertainment picked up with the fourth fight, second event, where two shorter but more powerful fighters squared off. There was a far higher proportion of techniques used in this match, with the eventual winner in the red corner putting together some rapid punching combinations. The stadium was now filling up, the noise level began to rise, and the announcers started up, giving a brief description of the weight. Very short clip below (not sure if it was this fight, but the three seconds should hopefully give you some idea of what it was like):



Eventually, a female voice took over, explaining in English and then Japanese (I guess those must be the two main tourist groups). She covered topics like the ritualistic Wai Kru, use of the mong kron and the average age of fighters (they begin at 8, fight professionally from 15, then retire in their 20s). The announcer also went into more detail on the fighters’ record, and it became clear that tonight at least, the younger fighters seemed to have more experience. The 17-19 year olds commonly had over 90 fights, while the oldest fighter of the night, at 25, had competed in just 75.

As the night progressed, to my surprise I saw that throwing your opponent from the clinch was quite acceptable, and always raised a big cheer. The noise levels were later augmented by a loud grunt from the respective fighter’s corner – and eventually, from the audience too – which would accompany each and every successful knee strike from the clinch.

After the fourth event, where the tough looking 22 year old in the blue corner lost despite his dominance of the early rounds, there was a brief but entertaining demonstration of ‘muay baray’, the ‘original’ muay thai. Two fighters dressed with traditional hand wraps went through a choreographed display of eight different techniques, culminating in a beautiful step-on-the-knee-and-kick manoeuvre. This was in stark contrast to the brutality of some of the earlier fights, one of which featured a fighter throwing his opponent to the ground, then football kicking him in the head as he lay prone on the mat.

The main event finished the fight card, which involved all the fighters coming back on for photo opportunities. The two final fighters were presented with a giant golden glove each. They were apparently competing for a purse of 500,000 baht: the younger man in the red corner, 18, defeated his 25 year old opponent.

My own battle was about to begin, with an arduous journey to my bedridden friend. The bus I joined helpfully returned to the bus station instead of my hostel, whereupon I think I was told (in Thai, so he could well have been saying "Get off the bus, you wanker, its stopped!") to wait on the bus until the next driver arrived. This then resulted in a tense (for me, anyway) 20 minutes or so as I wondered if the only other passenger, sitting in the dark a few seats behind, was going to rob me or not. I did eventually get back to my friend much later, without getting mugged, quite pleased with myself. I’d successfully – if rather slowly – navigated my way round Bangkok.

< Cambodia - Next: Laos >

RTW 04: Cambodia

Cambodia - 13th May to 17th May

The flight out of Kathmandu was delayed for about 24 hours. Royal Nepal Airlines didn't present us with the best impression, as from their fleet of two planes, one was grounded, and the other broke down. Still, they did put us up in a five star hotel, which was nice. Before Bangkok, there was a brief stop over in Mumbai at a somewhat pants hotel that sold us a marvellous 12 hour city tour...which was entirely in Hindi...

We then arrived in Thailand, and decided to fly straight out to Cambodia rather than try the much more complex, if cheaper, overland route.

Day 1: The Outlying Temples – 14/05/04 (Angkor)

Having arrived the previous day via Mumbai (04:50) and Bangkok (14:30), due to our semi-impulse, but impressively cheap (£191 each) returns to Siem Reap and Luang Prabang (£66 off!), we set off in a tuk-tuk for our first destination, Banteay Srei, at around 07:00. ‘Terry’, our driver, began the day full of enthusiasm (this was to gradually wane as our itinerary became ever more extensive) and after a long drive (11/2 hours) we reached the temple described as an ‘exquisite miniature’ and ‘fairy palace’ in our ubiquitous Dawn Rooney guide - it lived up to its title. It was well worth the 30km, with marvellously carved frontons on the North and South libraries – I couldn’t separate my favourite from the depiction of Shiva crushing Ravana under his mountain and Indra riding atop Airividata scattering rain while Balarama and Krishna stood amongst a menagerie beneath him.

After spending slightly more than two hours at Banteay Srei, we moved onto the second temple of Rooney’s ‘Group 7’ – Banteay Samre. This was to prove the best of the temples for me of the first day, an altogether larger, quicker and far more isolated complex than the concentrated beauty of Banteay Srei. While the individual carving s were not of Banteay Srei’s standard, the cool antechambers and dungeon-hack like surrounding corridor, along with the sadly dry inner moat and somewhat battered naga balustrades, and finally the whole deserted, mystic, Set-like temple feel of Samre won out – straight from ‘Stone Prophet’! We also managed to get some memorable multiple arm shots here (hopefully the memory card won’t @#%$ them up) which the guards certainly found amusing! I bought two shirts, as due to isolation the touts were desperate, but also female, while my friend got herself a Cambodian outfit.

After roughly 1.5 hours at this rather magical place, we moved on the Rooney’s ‘Group 3’, which consisted of Preah Khan, Neak Pean, Krol Ko and Ta Som. Unnecessarily, I sent Terry past the first three in order to see the group in Rooney’s equence, but on the other hand it worked it well in terms of time and distance – the first three temples were by far the best – out of the reminaing five others we saw, only Ta Som and the East Megon were at all memorable.

Preah Khan – ‘the Sacred Sword’ – was the largest temple we visited. The highlight of this temple was easily the enormous ‘fromageres’ tree straddled across the wall on the east gate, which we later discovered was also the shot chosen by Rooney’s photographer. We spent roughly two hours wadnering about the jungle temple, but the aulity of carving and overall coherence present in the Banteays was severely lacking. The heat of the day also reached a stifling degree, our water consumption rose rapidly, and my friend's shopping was about about to completed – she bought a shirt outside Neak Pehn to finish her ensemble.

Unfortunately, the shirt proved the only worthwhile result of our visit to Neak Pehn, seeing as this small set of buildings sat on a lake had no water, contrary to the attractive picture in the guidebook. Krol Ko also proved uninteresting, except for a rather bizarre hiccuping-bark dog and a total lack of any touts.

Fortunately Ta Som rekindled the appeal of Group 3, in much the same way as Preah Khan – once again, the symbiosis between nature and ancient stonework proved fascinating. The tower at Ta Som, at the west end, has some pleasant Angkorian faces, with a large tree growing through the top, and entirely intermingle with the west facing side – even more so than we found in Preah Khan.

The day ended with the less exhilirating temples, from Group 5 – East Mebon and Srah Srong. The latter, supposedly a bath consisting of a 700m lake, was entirely dry, preventing our hoped-for sunset sport. The East Mebon had a few interesting points, despite being swathed in children. These were the large elehpant statues on each of the four corners, and a number of frontons – one depicting Shiva on his bull, Nandi, Indra on his three-headed elephant, and finally one showing Skanda on his peacock. We headed back to our beautiful hostel and air-conditioned room for an early start the next day.

Day 2: Angkor Thom and Environs – 15/05/04 (Angkor)

The time had come for cycling! As Banteay Srei was so far away, a tuk tuk was reasonable, but for Angkor Thom – a mere 5 miles from Siem Reap – there was no excuse. We eventually left around 6:20, arriving at Angkor Thoma, and more specifically the Bayon, around 7:20. I had been looking forward to the famous bas-reliefs, in particular the Churning of the Milk and alleged muay thai (or rather, muay khmer!), but was disappointed. The latter I couldn’t find, while the former was much less impressive than I had hoped. The reliefs on the outer gallery, which I spent around an hour wandering past – roughly 5 times – after losing my friend not realising she’d gone to the main sections.

After finding eachother by way of a high lookout, we set off for the top, which my friend had already explored during my circumambulation. The iconic ‘Angkor Smile’ was everywhere as gently carved heads beamed down. However, I felt strangely dissatisfied with this alleged highlight of the complex. In truth, I preferred the gate we had cycled through earlier on our way up, passing Angkor Wat en route.

The Baphuon was supposed to be next, but after walking up the tension building walkway, we discovered it was still under heavy restoration work and was therefore closed to the public. Slightly disheartened but also glad of the extra time, we moved on to the ‘aerial palace’, Phimenakas. Again, this was a disappointment – only I bothered climbing this small temple-mountain, and the view didn’t warrant the effort. We continued on to the one part of the view which had intrigued me, a large pool. This proved to be the ‘Srah Srei’, or ‘women’s bath’ – despite the murky green water, I was consoled by the sight of some khmer urchins diving in over the other side. Stripping down to my swimming shorts, I gingerly slid down the one step into the ‘bath’. The water was incredibly shallow, and I could feel the muddy grass under my feet, but I was glad to finally get the chance for a swim, not to mention an expanse of water, no matter how disturbing a shade of green!

We stumbled upon one of the most exciting edifices of the day by accident, which of course added to both its impact and appeal. The Elephant Terrace appeared out of nowhere, and after walking down the stairs, I encountered the famous five headed horse reliefs purely because I had been looking for somewhere in the shade to read my book! Upon seeing the gorgeous exterior of the Leper King terrace, we eventually realised where we must be (the first rather large hint was the three headed elephant relief on top of the terrace, which was the first terrace based carving we came across). Upon descending, the full splendour of the terraces revealed itself – at a later point, as we wandered past the reliefs back to our bikes, I thought how superb a bike ride the view would afford (fortunately, I soon got the chance, as we cycled back from Ta Prohm to Phnom Bakheng).

Ta Keo was our next stop, but not particularly exciting. However, it did provide an opportunity to discover new routes down other than the stairs, something I would try to more dramatic – and wrist-scraping – effect at Phnom Bakheng, when I attempted some Flashback style hang-drops. Not very clever.

Ta Prohm was the penultimate stop of the day, and proved to be one of the Angkor highlights. This was the setting for Tomb Raider, with a whole load of fromagere twisted through the mysteriously derelict ruins. It was a pleasure to simply wander and get lost in its depths – which I did repeatedly! – although at one point I found myself emerging next to a ‘Danger – No Entry!’ sign, having happily clambered across some extremely precarious blocks!

Phnom Bakheng was the final stop, and an arduous climb, where we joined a swarm of tourists, not to mention orange-robed Buddhist monks (who as usually were chatting to young blondes!). Unfortunately, the view was rather dark, made worse by cloud.

Final Day: Angkor Wat at Last! – 16/05/04 (Angkor)

Today was, at last, the day for Angkor Wat itself. We had cycled past it, seen it from a temple-mountain, but now we were finally going inside it. The temple lived up to expectations, with beautiful bas-reliefs, highlights being the Battle of Lanka, Battle of Kurukshetra and the famous Churning of the Milk, which I had erroneously attributed to the Bayon earlier. The architecture in general was superlative, with cunning foibles such as the five towers only becoming visible from certain angles. Climbing the central tower was a frightening experience due to the ridiculously narrow steps, so I once again climbed up the large blocks along the sides – a more circuitous, but also more satisfying, route. The view was suitably superb.

Afterwards, I had the first of many tasty cans, as the day was to prove full of such liquid delights. We set off in search of the Western Baray at around 12, having spent roughly 4 1/2 hours at the Wat. Judging by the map, there didn’t appear to be any direct roads, so my friend determined to find one. This proved to be a mud track which got steadily more squelchy as we went along, eventually becoming so stiff as to be impassable. At this point, leaning against my bike in the baking hot sun, I was quite ready to leave and give up. However, my friend forged ahead round the corner, just in case our destination was close by. She returned some time later, claiming that a girl had told her a large body of water was a short distance way.

I rejoined her to check out this possibility, passing various construction vehicles on the way, while what looked like a half-naked women stared at me. We stopped off at a small place selling drinks next to a sign stating ‘Flood Emergency Rehabilitation Project’ – this was not a typical tourist destination! After some Fanta ‘Fruit Punch’, which tasted distinctly like bubblegum, we trudged into the Cambodian jungle in search of the Baray. A short walk later, I recalled the rather worrying fact that Cambodia remains one of the most heavily mined countries in the world.

After this somewhat harrowing journey, and after a truck stuffed with children shouting ‘Hello!’ in broken English passed us on the extremely narrow ‘road’, we returned to our bikes. Back to Angkor Wat, where we spent another few hours, with two more excellent cans of drink – ‘soursop’ juice (some kind of spiky fruit) and the wondrous ‘mixed fruit’ drink. I also had a longer stare at various figures in the ‘Churning of the Milk’, especially the first figure holding the head of Vashlu, Vishnu and Hanuman, at the beginning, middle and end respectively. To finish the day, we spent half an hour or so at Ta Prohm – enjoying the very scenic cycle through Angkor Thom on the way – and then finally took a few moments to say goodbye to the marvellous Angkor Wat before returning home for a great meal at one of several posh restaurants packed with Angkoriana. Cambodia had been expensive, mainly due to government fees such as visas, passes and ‘passenger service charge’, but Angkor had most assuredly been worth it!

Next was Bangkok, then on to Luang Prabang, which at this point I knew almost nothing about.

< Nepal - Next: Thailand >

RTW 04: Nepal

NEPAL 01/05/04 – 11/05/04

Selling the Sadhu – 04/05/04 (Kathmandu)

Having passed through India, we reached Nepal’s capital, Kathmandu, on the 1^st of May. Our tour should have begun – at least in terms of meeting/socialising – on the 2^nd, but ‘B2’ (his real name was double-barrelled, both beginning with ‘b’ – he told us to call him ‘B2’, presumably from annoyance at people getting it wrong), our tour guide, was ‘too tired’! So instead, we ended up walking by the rather disgusting, but still somehow charming river, which mainly consisted of pigs, water buffalo (not to mention rotting piles of their legs!) and lots of rubbish fuming pungently in large heaps.

On the third day, our tour began properly, and first of all we went to Pashupati Temple. Our first encounter was relatively authentic, as we saw the ‘holy men’ in their caves. We then went to the complex proper, whereupon commercialism steadily took over. Several murals decorated the walls with mythological Hindu motifs, apparently drawn by an Italian devotee of the ‘Milk Baba’, a man of 75 who had allegedly drunk nothing but milk for the past 25 years. He was not in residence because he was at a ‘holy man conference’ in India, and had been travelling the world previous to that. Incongruously, there was a little guy playing very badly on a keyboard, the demo tinkling painfully along as he clumsily attempted accompaniment. This tacky soundtrack fit perfectly with the scene about to greet us.

Entering another courtyard, we saw several ‘holy men’ touching up their make up and getting into suitably photogenic positions. One man unwound his mass of matted hair, while to the far right a younger sadhu threw his leg up behind his head, his hand resting on a stick for balance. For the privilege of photographing these ‘mystics’, a ‘donation’ was expected. Spirituality had become a business.

Monsoon Kayaking – 05/05/04 (Pokhara)

Pokhara could be summed up in one word: wet. We had a downpour the first day, well ahead of monsoon schedule, which continued without fail every afternoon. We were also chased mercilessly by Tibetan women clutching umbrellas and backpacks full of handicrafts, whose main selling strategy consisted of telling my friend she was a ‘nice lady’ and that their marvellous wares would produce ‘many miracles for you’.

Early on the second day, we took a walk with a rather irritating 67 year old member of our group up to Sarangihot, a look out point for the Himalayas. Unfortunately, once we arrived at the summit, 1500 or so metres up, the majestic Anapurna range was completely obscured by cloud.

Clambering back down to lakeside around 12, after eating ‘chocolate puddings’ (actually chocolate custard in a bowl, which nevertheless I rather enjoyed) we went to go kayaking. Reaching the half-dressed boat rent man, who advised a rowboat, we were taken all the way back to his house to drag the kayaks to the beach. Having achieved this, we set out in our rickety vessels.

As my friend sped off to the other side of the lake, I found myself in trouble. Upon each attempt to go forwards, I found that I’d simply spin in a circle, no matter the direction, or how desperately I paddled on the opposite side. As my friend got further and further away, I became more and more frustrated. Eventually I was reduced to floating aimlessly in the middle of the lake, my chin morosely balanced on my palm, fearing that I was going to be stuck there for the rest of the day. As I imagined the humiliation of a towboat back or being trapped in a rainstrom, the little dot that was my  assumed I was merely taking a break, as I had ironically commented to her earlier that I’d ‘like to go out to the middle of the lake and relax’.

Eventually I did get moving again, having finally realised that I could arrest my spin by dunking an oar in the opposite direction – previous frantic paddling had only served to make me spin faster. Once I caught up with my friend and bemoaned my wasted 20mins stranded, it began to rain shortly after. I gleefully put on a waterproof, stashed behing me in my bag, and had the pleasure of being the only person on the lake not getting soaked – indeed, perhaps the only person in town! Paddling back to the shore in a monsoon certainly made for an intriguing experience.

But it wasn’t over yet! In the evening I dragged my  back for more row-boat action, deciding at the last minute to pack a raincoat once again just in case. Reaching the dock, it looked deserted – only a few children clambering along railings and some local women. I asked a guy if the place was still open, whereupon he sent for someone else. Eventually another guy appeared, took a bottle out of the bin and cut it in half to create a bucket for bailing out the rowboat, filled with an inch or two of rainwater.

Finally we set out, though I was a bit unsure what to do with the two paddles on offer. My friend sat across from me with her newly purchased Tuborg, and I single handedly rowed her back and forth across the lake – fortunately for me, we saw a Nepali boatman on the way, so I copied his far more efficient style of rowing.
On the way back, I got a second opportunity to reach smugly for my raincoat as the rain spattered down. All in all, a very wet day!

Safari in Chitwan – 07/05/04 (Chitwan)

Next stop was Chitwan, a famous National Park full of rhinos. The highlight of the stay was bathing with the elephants, which seemed to mainly consist of getting on the elephant, then being thrown off as the elephant driver directed.
It also meant I finally got to ride on an elephant bareback as it waded into the river from the beach. The leathery skin made for an easy grip, though the high ridge of spine was more problematic – I ended up with a hand gripping in front and behind, made more difficult by the characteristic swaying motion of the elephant.

Having experienced the dubious pleasure of being thrown off an elephant into literally @#%$-stained river water (you could watch it drift by) we then proceeded to an elephant safari. Armed with my trusty Suzhou fan, I climbed aboard the remarkably uncomfortable four-person frame and we set off for the jungle. Once there, we saw some rhinos – one submerged, one with child – and some less interesting sights, like a stork, peacock and deer. Unfortunately, my friend didn't enjoy this much due to the non-English speaking driver plunging through trees so that the branches slapped my poor friend in the face!

Returning from the unpleasant episode, we went to the riverside café, where a young orphan rhino wandered unimpeded (not that anyone could stop him…). For some reason, the enormous child took a shine to my groin, and had a good nuzzle on my left hip!

Next up is Bangkok, stopping over in Mumbai waiting for flights (depending on when, or even if, Royal Nepal Airlines manages to leave Kathmandu some time this week), from which I'll be going to Cambodia and Laos. 

Looking forward to Angkor Wat in Cambodia, where apparently there are some bas-reliefs showing that muay thai actually originated in Cambodia, the Thais having nicked some fighters in the 15th century. But thats just going by the Lonely Planet, which isn't all that up on martial arts.

< India - Next: Cambodia >

RTW 04: India

India - 23rd April to 30th April

I didn't write much on this at the time, so I'll give a brief summary. India is rich in culture and an economic powerhouse of the future. Perhaps understandably given the continuing poverty, it has also developed ripping off tourists into a fine art. From the special ‘foreigner’ prices at all attractions (where they add a few extra zeroes onto the ‘local’ entry fee) to the taxis that chase you along the pavement, it seems everyone is looking to get at your wallet.

Of course, that isn’t entirely unexpected when you pick the hyper-touristy option of Delhi, Agra and Jaipur, India’s so-called ‘Golden Triangle’. On top of that, we travelled most of that route in an air-conditioned chauffeur driven car, which unsurprisingly makes you a target.

One especially fun episode came when the driver had to leave the car for a moment in order to pay at a toll booth. Two men with ‘dancing bears’ decided that the old methods are the best – to get what you want, use violence. Sitting in a car that’s being rammed repeatedly by two large carnivores is a little disconcerting to say the least. Still, the Taj Mahal remains one of the most perfect pieces of architecture on the planet; be certain to arrive at the crack of dawn, as you’ll need the whole day to take it in.

Indians and people who've travelled to India I've met since then have advised me that I should have gone to Southern India. If I ever go back, I think it would definitely be a good idea to go with someone Indian, or at least makes friends with someone who lives there beforehand. That should hopefully reduce the tourist trap nature of my first experience.

< China - Next: Nepal >

RTW 04: China

CHINA 13/04/04 –22/04/04

Great Wall – 16/04/04 (Simatai)

We experienced the not-so-ancient majesty of the great wall on the 16th April 2004. First built around 220BC by the first Qin Emperor, Shihuangdi, as a stamped earth dirt wall, its present incarnation dates from an extensive rebuilding programme during the Ming Dynasty, in which literally millions of Chinese died during the century long fortification, shoring up its decaying dirt with the battlements and paving slabs we see today. In more modern times, the Great Wall was repaired once again, as its value to the communists as a generator of tourist revenue became clear.

We visited the section at Simatai, held to be the most impressive. After taking a 1 yuan trip to the toilet-paperless toilets, the group embarked on the 1000 step climb to the section, handily marked out at various intervals, generally every 50 steps. Our first view upon climbing all those steps was suitably impressive. The undulating brickwork wound its sinuous way through the Mongolian mountains, engendering some steep inclines and pronounced dips along the way. The pounding heat of the sun, unencumbered by clouds, beat down relentlessly, and the stones were baking hot, but fortunately the cool shade of watchtowers provided a welcome respite from the temperature.

My friend and I walked up and down the section from about 11:30 until 13:30, although the final 10 to 20 minutes was spent sitting as we waited for the rest of the tour group. I managed to wield my biscuit packet in Mongolian fury, attempted to scale the walls, and haggled a 5 yuan bottle of water down to 3 from a real Mongolian. Most exciting, not to mention bizarre, as the various old Mongolian women selling water spoke excellent English, entirely learned from sweating tourists. My friend, along with most of our tour group, chose an intriguing toboggan route to return to the restaurant meeting point, while I decided to walk back down, saving the 50 yuan for my expensive, but relatively satisfying, Beijing Opera visit.

Beijing/Peking Opera (Beijing)

It cost me 300 yuan, paying my reluctant friend's ticket as well, but it proved to be an all-inclusive transport and snacks ticket, and we also got to see the actors put on their make-up. The opera was split into three separate performances (though there was no interval between them). The first two, ‘Autumn River’ and ‘Goddess Scattering Flowers’, were a comedy and a divine soliloquy respectively. The first was the least memorable, though an entertaining enough piece of light comedy as a young woman tries to reach her lover through a mischievous old boatman. The second piece centred on a bodhisattva rushing to a temple to scatter flowers in celebration of a great sermon. It appeared to mainly be an excuse for the actress to show off her skill at twirling and unfurling her long silk scarf wrapped about her shoulders and arms.

The final performance, about ‘Stealing Silver’, was where it really picked up. Described by our guide, Melody, as an ‘action movie’, it lived up to the title. A slow start then leapt into action (quite literally!) as the main character, a swordswoman, had her cohorts flip and somersault onto the stage. They duly stole the silver from the rather witless guards, whereupon the imposing painting of a fierce red-bearded gentleman sprang to life, breathed lots of fire, gathered his troops and sought revenge. This then led to a sequence of weapon encounters. The antagonist guards were armed with two spears, while the red-bearded leader himself wielded a halberd. Facing him were the multi-weaponed followers of the swordswoman, and her black-faced lieutenant who brandished two maces. The performance then shifted to circus acrobatics, with much juggling of weapons and gymnastic tumbling, martial arts inspired butterfly kicks and artful kicking back of thrown spears by the heroine. It was a bravura performance by a significantly larger cast than the far more sedate build up pieces. Worth 300 yuan? Not quite, but a fine introduction to the training Jackie Chan brought to global attention nonetheless.



Walking the Bund – 22/04/04 (Shanghai)

I left the hotel at 6:40am, ostensibly to finally try out the languid art of tai chi, but open to any offers. As I strolled swiftly thought the pedestrianised area immediately to the left of the Nanjing Hotel, I could already see the slow-motion ballet getting underway. Pausing briefly to look, I continued on to my destination, the Bund.

Emerging from the dawn quiet of the tunnel, I caught my first sight of what I thought were tai chi swordsmen. I’m still not entirely certain what they were, but when I returned to the same spot later, it was packed with ballroom dancers. My second attempt was also thwarted. The group of women began promisingly, but as the Western pop music kicked in, it was clear that what I was watching was not tai chi. It was aerobics.

The cliché proved true on my third attempt, when I came upon a group of middle-aged women going through the motions with a fan. There was definitely a stabbing thrust at one point, but generally the motions were more concerned with dramatically unfurling the fan with a studied flourish.

I then moved on to four old men practicing what I’d been expecting; slow arm motions and gradual leaning forwards and backwards. This got dull rather quickly, so I then moved to the next group, which was again tai chi, with the odd crescent kick thrown in. Finally, next to the big triangle above the Bund museum, a larger group of suitably uniformed tai chi practitioners. Far more interesting, however, were the three individuals next to them. One guy in particular was playing around with a sword, throwing in some tornado kicks and 360 sweeps on the way. After watching this for a while, I moved down to the relative seclusion of the statue, under which there was a big dip. Here I did some ZSK, with my two companions being a woman jogging on the spot, and an older gentleman walking backwards – he proved to be one of many, as I later saw sharply dressed businessmen doing the same.

< Hong Kong - Next: India >

RTW 04: Hong Kong

(went to O'Hagan's class one more time, to Neil Genge's Song Shan class about 3/4 times, and a TKD session in Kingswood. Leaving Bristol to return home to Bucks, I then went on a 2 and a half month trip round the world, where the closest I got to training was in Shanghai...)

Hong Kong – 7th April to 13th April

My trip began in Hong Kong, where I met my friend at the airport (she was flying in from Egypt, via Rome and Madrid due to a crap travel agent). It proved to be one of my favourite stops, even if it was a comparatively expensive one. I particularly liked the gorgeous Hong Kong cityscape, along with the thrill of being in the home of martial art films.

Standing under the Kowloon Railway Clock Tower from Jackie Chan’s ‘Project A’ was about the only film-related activity, though. My main chance for immersing myself in Golden Harvest kung fu grandeur, the Hong Kong Film Archive, proved rather less comprehensive than I'd hoped. In contrast to some of the places we went later, eating was basic. I relied on £1 chinese bread from the local supermarket, which appealed to my sweet tooth, as for some reason it's very sugary.

Over the 6 days, there were three main activities of note. First up was our trip to Lantau Island, where you can find the largest bronze seated Budhha in the world, dating all the way back to…1993. Secondly was the ‘Kung Fu Corner’ in Kowloon Park. This proved to be not so much kung fu as huge portions of lion dancing. Still, some of the Lion Dances were relatively entertaining, when they either did something a bit more acrobatic or dramatic.

For example, jumping around on benches, or when the 'Lion' took a while to 'wake up', which sounds kinda cheesy but I thought came off pretty well. In general, however, they get monotonous - jerky head motions whilst wandering around, throw a bit of cabbage from the mouth and that was about it. The dragon dance was more interesting, and a lot more sinuous (as you would expect from having about ten people holding the costume rather than just two), but I preferred the two dramatic and acrobatic Lion dances.

Fortunately, they did do a few more conventional martial art demos amidst all the teeth and cabbage-leaf throwing. It looked like it was mainly southern styles, as there were lots of sweeping arm motions, blocks and swift, rigid strikes, with virtually no kicks. I recognised hung kuen, wing chun and some guys that had a praying mantis on their back. There was also a tai chi guy towards the end of the kung fu bit with a sword (hooray for swords!). More confusingly, there was a guy doing quite fast upper-body stuff, but with one arm behind his back the whole time. Not sure why.

For an event that was supposedly designed for tourists, it wasn't all that tourist friendly. Proceedings were conducted entirely in Cantonese, so I understood two things - 'kung fu corner', and 'Wong Fei Hung'. I'm presuming the repeated mention of the latter meant some people were doing hung gar, but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, it was nice to get some martial arts action in.

Finally, we went to Repulse Bay, a relatively short bus ride from the centre (though it took us a while to work out which bus). This made for a pleasant break from the metropolis, and I even managed a bit of a tan due to the 37^oC temperature. It was also a first outing for our ‘travel towels’, which are supposed to be quick drying and compact; for a change, they are.

Next: China